Friday, September 16, 2011

It Never Rains in Southern California...


So the song sez. Waiting this morning. Waiting for the marine-layer to burn off, so's I can see the sun. Clouds close to the ocean are called marine-layers. At least here in LA. In the late morning, the sun comes through those clouds and the sun comes out of hiding. I can breathe again. Maybe it's all in my head. I only do what the voices tell me to do. I'm off my sea-food diet, the one where youse sees-food and eats it. Trying to get back to my fighting weight, like when I wuz married. I'm kidding. I drops another 100 lbs. and I'm gonna text Maurice at The old/new Chippendales and see if I can get back on the bill. Miss waking up Sunday mornings with all those one dollar bills in my shorts. Good times. Whatever. Hopes you have a great weekend...

Friday, September 9, 2011

Tem dreams are here again...


                those dreems are here again. I'm on a desert island, marooned with a couple of hundred cheerleaders. Our plane has crashed. I'm the only guy left, as the pilot and his navigator bought the farm when they crashed into the mountain. So's here I am surrounded by hot babes. I figure we better ration stuff out, like water, some airline food packages and candy bars. You gets the picture. Suddenly I realize that being the only person here with a pair, I might finally get some.Suddenly my cell phone chimes off and wakes me and I realize, I ain't on no desert island, I'm awake. I'm in LA and need to get up and go to work as a movie extra. it's 4am and I feel like death warmed over. I better get my derriere in gear, get some java and...gotta go guys.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Remembering the good times...

I'm just gonna be brief and say what eye have to say. I want to wish the guys in cell block B, the best for the long weekend. Guys...return my Barry Manilow CD's for you know whose sake. A deal is a freaking deal. I remember I remember the cell where I was kept, the little window where the sun came peeping while I slept...it never came a wink too soon or brought too long a day, cuz I needed light to dig a hole and make my getaway...opps. Lights out Holmes...