It's early morning. The summer is almost here. I can hear it in the voices of the birds chirping on the fire escape outside my window. I can hear it in the voices of the homeless rummaging through the dumpster down below. Summer! Yes, life is good.
Yes, life is good and God is good and I know she has a great summer planned for me. Receding into the distance like the South end of Seabiscuit running North at Santa Anita is Co-Vid and all the accoutrement of Six Foot distancing, Masks du jour, and those nasty glares at the laundromat most Saturdays when my mask slipped down beneath my panting nostrils. Time to move on.
Time to reboot my life. It won't be easy. Not with my 5th book coming out. Not that I'm Shakespeare. Or Stephen King. But when the glow of another book hits Amazon and Barnes & Noble, it's on for young and old. They come out of the woodwork. Like cockroaches. Like poor relations. They think it means Big Bucks.
The residuals I make off my writing won't give me a down payment at Malibu. Maybe a down payment on an icy Six-Pack of Non-Alcoholic Heineken green. On these hot days, that's all I need. It's all good.
What's all bad is that when the new book arrives, those poor relations think it's Christmas. They think they can show up at all hours and ask for a loan. And then to add insult to injury, they have the consummate bad taste to ask me to give them a ride back to the trailer park.
By the gods, can't they take the 94 bus down San Fernando Road into Chinatown and save me some time, not to mention some gas money. Do they think I'm Mr. Moneybags or something?
Do they think I'm Jeff Bezos? Give me a break. I'm a working man. Working like a coolie is the elbow-to-elbow sweatshop called Hollywood. Eking out a living. Waiting to sell a comedy screenplay. Waiting for The Onion to buy one of my Headlines. Waiting for the gravy train. Waiting for my ship to come in. Respect that people!
Respect that, you malcontents that show up on my doorstep at all hours, asking for a couple of bucks! Claiming that we're related. Well, at least summer, finally is here. But, it won't be a cakewalk.
Another summer of dodging restraining orders, avoiding jury duty summons, coping with heatwaves, riding those Southern California earthquakes, and other realities. I know I can make it.
I've done it before. I'll do it again. Hoping the Cartels reconnect. Hoping to meet Miss Right. Or her sister, Miss Right Now. It's all good. My community service is going well.
But, enough about me...
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